


The Morning After he Killed Himself

by heartlckt



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Based on "The morning after I killed myself", Dead TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:35:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28085562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartlckt/pseuds/heartlckt
Summary: The morning after he killed himself, Tommy sits at the bottom of the ocean staring at his body. Wishing he could tell him to change his mind.Based on the poem "The Morning After I Killed Myself"
Comments: 3
Kudos: 157





	The Morning After he Killed Himself

**Author's Note:**

> this is based off the poem, the morning after i killed myself. you can find the poem here https://www.reddit.com/r/Poetry/comments/ayrday/poem_the_morning_after_i_killed_myself_by_meggie/ and a beautiful video edition of it here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEX-9exMc1A . also, i hope this is fairly obvious but when tommy "falls in love" with people its all familial and platonic love
> 
> I would recommend listening to sentient by gavin luke while you read this as it is the beautiful backtrack in the film

Everything is the same that morning, except for his damp hair (he isn’t really sure why- he doesn’t remember bathing the night before. He doesn’t remember anything).

He swings his legs over the side of the bed and drearily reaches over to check the compass that resides on the windowsill. What he doesn’t know is that 3000 kilometers away, Tubbo is frantically slamming his compass on his desk trying to get it to work again, to stop spinning.

He puts some toast in the toaster and eggs on the pan, and heads out into the orchard to inspect the fruit. He takes his time, wandering around, making sure to only choose the plumpest grapefruit. He brings it back in and squeezes it into juice and cleans up the rest of the kitchen.

It’s simple, but sometimes he finds happiness in the small acts of self care.

Later, he falls in love.

Not with a girl, or perhaps with a salmon like his older brother Wilbur once had, but with the things around him. The way the gentle willow branches of Logstedshire swayed over the water, almost touching but not quite.

He falls in love with the flowers that grow out of the cliffside banks, especially the dandelions. When he approaches them, Tubbo is there. Tommy falls in love with Tubbo again, in the moments where Tubbo picks up a dandelion and blows it away, wishing for something just out of reach.

He falls in love with Wilbur, how he always wished the best for him and protects him from the outside world.

He falls in love with Techno, as he stands on the cliff next to Tubbo, with his hand on his shoulder, telling him that it will all be alright.

Again, he falls in love with his father, sitting on the steps of his house watching the sunrise, the sunrise in L’Manberg that Tommy was never permitted to see.

He runs into Henry on his walk, the cow coming up to moo at him, as if he missed him. Tommy reassures his friend that he’s right here, and he never went anywhere. To the side, he sees Mushroom Henry, as he cries out for attention because he can’t find Tommy.

With Henry, Tommy returns to L’manberg. They run through L’Manberg, jumping from pillar to pillar with no fear left anymore.

He sees the L'Mantree, his initials still scraped into it next to Tubbo and Fundy’s as a sign of their youth. His initials are already starting to fade.

On the docks, he sees Niki and Fundy, Niki with tears streaming down her face as Fundy tries to comfort her.

Tommy watches the sun come up, sitting next to his father on the steps of what once was supposed to be his home. Around them, the flowers blossom, opening up to a new day of wonders and possibility.

The birds sing, and the water rushes below them. It’s a new day in L’Manberg, but Tommy isn’t here to see it.

The morning after he killed himself, Tommy sits at the bottom of the ocean staring at his body. Wishing he could tell him about the fruits in the orchard, his family, Tubbo, and the sunrise.

But he can’t. He wishes he was still here. But he’s not.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this not really as a vent fic but more of a "damn i watched this short film and it made me really question my life as a depressed/occasionally suicidal person and now i want to make it about minecraft because thats what i do best" so here we are.
> 
> please take care of yourself! if you need to speak to someone do so, and remember as this story says, it's never worth it.


End file.
